letting go

January 12, 2016

Nothing to prove but love

If we had nothing to prove but love

We might sit on the Santa Lucia Mountains

On the coast of California

Breathing in the rolling, dome shaped mountains

And wildflowers blooming

As you watch sea otters rafting in kelp beds through my eyes

And the waves of the pacific batter the rocks

But as we restrain ourselves in the name of perfection

We find ourselves

Chained to and starring into the wall of a cave

Our wretched minds contort

Our imagery of grass is greener

Our betrays and lies in the holy name of All we ever wanted was everything

Did we but travel through

The long and uncomfortable road

To nothing to prove but love

Where you would see me

Even when I don’t project

The last woman you were in love with

Where you would see me

Even when I don’t project

The next woman you think you’ll love

Where you would see me

For whom I am

The sea otter rafting in the kelp beds

The pacific wave battering the rocks

The wildflower blooming on the side of the road

Then we could say in our hearts

We will ascend to heaven

We will sit on the Mountain of Assembly

In the recesses of the north

And we fear not the crooked teeth of the drunken dancer

Or the wrinkles in the fragile face of ageing

Nor do we fear the hysteria of a moment

Because now we learned to laugh at ourselves

Now we free felled through the hole of our fears

And now we have nothing to prove but love

El sur grande

 

 

 

 

January 8, 2016

I am a wild woman

I am a wild woman
Eating stars for breakfast
Swimming in the morning dew of pussy willows

How will you touch my breasts?

If you treat my form as divine
Touch me as a sacred incarnate of infinite spirit

How will you kiss me then?

Honey, let me tell you
Be your fearless loving
Your unshakeable purpose

Show me your humor and spontaneity
Surprise me
Give your love as your existence

Love me as the cosmos love:
One loving itself as another
Yet remembering itself as One

Open my heart
And make love to me
As if you were a saint

Love every being through me
Love the entire world through me
Love all there ever was and will be through me

Make love to me
With no expectations, no fear, no waiting for something different, something better, someone prettier…

Make love to me as if you look death straight in its eyes
Make love to me as if your next heartbeat is your last

Die in each moment
To all there ever was

Your total presence and sensitivity
Make me trust you entirely

And I know you will stop at nothing
But bring me to new places of love

This will
Let me go wild and be free

As the wild woman I was to born to be
Eating stars for breakfast
Swimming in the morning dew of pussy willows

January 1, 2016

All I ever wanted was everything

The sky has a lot to say tonight

Stick around
And you’re gonna skin your knees
On eternity

All I ever wanted was everything

And so I died into
The light of love
And set my heart on fire

Into the open space of consciousness

Here I see us clearly
You the conscious
I the radiant

The doorway through which to give our heart-gifts

I grow when you see my beauty
I mature when I feel your love
I the feminine

You grow when you feel the clarity of understanding
You mature through consciousness
You the masculine

Merged we become full radiance and full consciousness

Look up into the sky
Do you see my body shimmer?
Do you feel your presence?

Stick around

When you are fearless
When you are boundless
When you are open consciousness

I skin my knees on eternity

You force me to surrender
You force the Universe into surrender
You are divine consciousness

You become the ultimate Lover

Oh, sweetest thou
Lose thine fears, your boundaries
And surrender

Teach me the bliss of emptiness

And I will
Teach you
The bliss of fullness

All I ever wanted was everything

December 25, 2015

When I quiet my mind

When I quiet my mind
I sit in the palm of God
 
And I strive to become
A connoisseur of awareness
 
Is that too high to aim?
 
I practice to be
The crispy space
 
In my thoughts
In my feelings
In my sensations
In my perception
 
And dance with the subtle
Energies that arise
 
Does that make me naive?
 
But oh Lord, it is so hard!
 
Often, I find myself
Everywhere but in the palm of God
 
Crawling on his shoulder
Hanging on by my fingertips
 
Sliding down his back
Kissing the dirt!
 
And sometimes I long
For the direction and depth
 
And presence
Of a masculine man
 
Does that make me weak?
 
I don’t want an escape
When I feel trapped
 
I don’t want to live
In fear
 
I want to dance
In love
 
I don’t want peace
I want passion
 
I don’t want to be chewed up
When I die
 
And chewed up
Again on the other side
I want to be opened
Wildly, raggedly, ravishingly, passionately
 
I want to offer love
Without holding back in fear
 
Does that make me crazy?
 
 
 
December 24, 2015

Once upon a time…

Let me tell you

What it feels like

To be left out

 

Once upon a time

There was a little girl

Her green eyes the passway to the star of Sirius

Her little hands painting the magic of the Universe

Through her All was One and One was All

 

Let me tell you

What it feels like

To be left out

 

Once upon a time

There was a little girl

Inside a voice softly caressed her whispering

Who are you to think you are magical?

Who are you to think you are All?

 

Let me tell you

What it feels like

To be left out

 

Was it the innocent words of ignorant boys

Spoken to a girl uncomfortable in the shape of her growing body

Too fast

Too tall

Too weird?

 

Or was it the voice inside her head

Going from soft and caressing to insisting and persuading

Penetrating her Open Heart

With its sophisticated and exquisite

Play of Chess?

 

Let me tell you

What it feels like

To be left out

 

Checkmate!

 

Once upon a time

There was a little girl

Who got caught up in the maze of her own mind

Lured into the Gingerbread house of Hansel and Gretel

Caught in a cage with Nāga

 

Let me tell you

What it feels like

To be left out

 

One day

She got up and out of the corner of the cage

Breathed into her belly

The passway to the star of Sirius

The magic of the Universe

Once upon a time

There was a little girl

Who fiercely looked the cobra in his eyes

And in the space between his hiss

And her realization of the illusion

 

In that space where all is

Without time

She caught her hidden wisdom

The death of who she had become

The death of whom she thought she was

 

Let me tell you

What it feels like

To be left out

 

Once upon a time

There was a woman

Transformed with the speed of light

Into something new that was in fact really old

Directed her to whom she already was

 

Who she had always been

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

December 23, 2015

For a year, I starred in the mirror

Oh but honey, why do you cry?
Those pale green eyes of yours
Tell a tale of
Love

I’m a Master of pretender
Hiding mine everything
Behind this sweet smile of mine
Behind these pale green eyes of mine

What if the road won’t take me there?
What if despair knocks down my door?
What if my heart won’t stop aching?
What if my eyes won’t stop crying?

What if love and to be loved is not enough?

I don’t know if I’m scared to die
I’m scared to live
too slow
too fast

I’m scared to reach the end
Not knowing if I lived or died
Not knowing if I found or lost
Not knowing…

Try not to hold on to
What is gone
Try not to long
For what has not yet come

Oh but honey, no need to cry
In those pale green eyes of yours
I see your soul
I hear a tale

Of the love that is to come…

December 22, 2015

EGO=Enlightenment Gone Obsessive

If everyone was blind
Who would I try to impress?

See me
Hear me
Believe me
Recognize me
Acknowledge me
Accept me
Admire me
Love me

Me
Me
Me…

EGO=Enlightenment Gone Obsessive

So I am enlightened
Or so I wish to believe

And let everyone know
Who sees me

Recognize me
For who I have become

Admire me
For what I have to say

Accept me
For the peaceful loving and blissed soul I am

Me
Me
Me…

If everyone was blind
Who would I try to impress?

EGO=Everyone Grasping for Oneness

So what if I was enlightened
So what?

So what if I went to Nirvana
So what?

So what if I met God on Buddingevej
So what?

Me
Me
Me…

If everyone was blind
Who would I try to impress?

EGO=Everything Gone Over the top

Could I let go of me
And expect nothing in return?

Could I be in service so small (to the ego)
That no one would even recognize the service?

Could I try to impress no one
Even if everyone was blind?

December 20, 2015

I used to swim in the shallow end of the pool

I used to swim in the shallow end of the pool

We didn’t see

I didn’t know

But to control

Getting my way

Or the high way

 

From behind

Life snuck up on me

Swaddling me

In chains of oppression

Oh so subtle!

I used to swim in the shallow end of the pool

 

Going on repeat

Who is right?

Who is wrong?

Who cares?

But we did

I used to swim in the shallow end of the pool

 

You were supposed to be the light when darkness takes me

The good when evil breaks me

The love that won’t forsake me

 

Ha! Ego laughs us in the face

Flashing its grim grin

Like the shark showing off teeth

Hiding our silver lining

Turning undesirable patterns into sticky energy

I used to swim in the shallow end of the pool

 

So sad

We didn’t see

I didn’t know

But to control

Where did you go little Darling?

I used to swim in the shallow end of the pool

 

Afraid to try

Afraid to fail

Afraid to drown

Until one day,

I realized

I had already drowned

 

So I began to swim

Into the depths of Oceans’ wisdom

I did not look back

Instead, I found the courage to stand up tall

Not afraid to try

Not afraid to fail

 

And here I found

No control

No getting my way

No right or wrong

No oppression

No disrespect

No sharks…

 

Now I swim

To the rhythm in my eyes

One foot on Earth

One in the land of Rainbows

My soul shining as the stars

I used to swim in the shallow end of the pool

 

Now I dance

With the wisdom of the depths of Oceans

Now I light the sparkle in your eyes

Now I set your soul on fire

And you wish to follow

But Darling, you must know

 

It takes the courage of an Open Heart

To plunge into the depths of Oceans’ wisdom

You will find yourself standing naked

With your heart on your sleeve

It is nothing

Like swimming in the shallow end of the pool

 

Slipping into my bikini

Waves of conquering my fears coming in

Grabbing my surfboard

Heading for the deep sea of blue

 

Wanna come?

 

 

 

 

 

 

December 12, 2015

Emancipate yourself

Standing in the shower
Water falling on her back
Like rain on a tin roof

Every drop of water
Slashes through her skin
Like a sharp knife

Laying bare the pain, the shame, the fear, the greed, the loneliness, the…
Of every child she ever was, of every girl she ever was, of every woman she ever was
Now and then

All the time trying to be a good girl
Fighting the ‘bad’
Hide away all that is not ‘good’

As she lay on the floor
In the shower
Water beating down on the surface of her back

Every drop of water
Is a revelation
Skeletons falling out of the closet

She realizes
Hide and seek is over
She has arrived

She is all – there is no good, there is no bad, there is just all
She breathes and
Emancipates herself