Month: December 2015

December 25, 2015

When I quiet my mind

When I quiet my mind
I sit in the palm of God
 
And I strive to become
A connoisseur of awareness
 
Is that too high to aim?
 
I practice to be
The crispy space
 
In my thoughts
In my feelings
In my sensations
In my perception
 
And dance with the subtle
Energies that arise
 
Does that make me naive?
 
But oh Lord, it is so hard!
 
Often, I find myself
Everywhere but in the palm of God
 
Crawling on his shoulder
Hanging on by my fingertips
 
Sliding down his back
Kissing the dirt!
 
And sometimes I long
For the direction and depth
 
And presence
Of a masculine man
 
Does that make me weak?
 
I don’t want an escape
When I feel trapped
 
I don’t want to live
In fear
 
I want to dance
In love
 
I don’t want peace
I want passion
 
I don’t want to be chewed up
When I die
 
And chewed up
Again on the other side
I want to be opened
Wildly, raggedly, ravishingly, passionately
 
I want to offer love
Without holding back in fear
 
Does that make me crazy?
 
 
 
December 24, 2015

Once upon a time…

Let me tell you

What it feels like

To be left out

 

Once upon a time

There was a little girl

Her green eyes the passway to the star of Sirius

Her little hands painting the magic of the Universe

Through her All was One and One was All

 

Let me tell you

What it feels like

To be left out

 

Once upon a time

There was a little girl

Inside a voice softly caressed her whispering

Who are you to think you are magical?

Who are you to think you are All?

 

Let me tell you

What it feels like

To be left out

 

Was it the innocent words of ignorant boys

Spoken to a girl uncomfortable in the shape of her growing body

Too fast

Too tall

Too weird?

 

Or was it the voice inside her head

Going from soft and caressing to insisting and persuading

Penetrating her Open Heart

With its sophisticated and exquisite

Play of Chess?

 

Let me tell you

What it feels like

To be left out

 

Checkmate!

 

Once upon a time

There was a little girl

Who got caught up in the maze of her own mind

Lured into the Gingerbread house of Hansel and Gretel

Caught in a cage with Nāga

 

Let me tell you

What it feels like

To be left out

 

One day

She got up and out of the corner of the cage

Breathed into her belly

The passway to the star of Sirius

The magic of the Universe

Once upon a time

There was a little girl

Who fiercely looked the cobra in his eyes

And in the space between his hiss

And her realization of the illusion

 

In that space where all is

Without time

She caught her hidden wisdom

The death of who she had become

The death of whom she thought she was

 

Let me tell you

What it feels like

To be left out

 

Once upon a time

There was a woman

Transformed with the speed of light

Into something new that was in fact really old

Directed her to whom she already was

 

Who she had always been

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

December 23, 2015

For a year, I starred in the mirror

Oh but honey, why do you cry?
Those pale green eyes of yours
Tell a tale of
Love

I’m a Master of pretender
Hiding mine everything
Behind this sweet smile of mine
Behind these pale green eyes of mine

What if the road won’t take me there?
What if despair knocks down my door?
What if my heart won’t stop aching?
What if my eyes won’t stop crying?

What if love and to be loved is not enough?

I don’t know if I’m scared to die
I’m scared to live
too slow
too fast

I’m scared to reach the end
Not knowing if I lived or died
Not knowing if I found or lost
Not knowing…

Try not to hold on to
What is gone
Try not to long
For what has not yet come

Oh but honey, no need to cry
In those pale green eyes of yours
I see your soul
I hear a tale

Of the love that is to come…

December 22, 2015

EGO=Enlightenment Gone Obsessive

If everyone was blind
Who would I try to impress?

See me
Hear me
Believe me
Recognize me
Acknowledge me
Accept me
Admire me
Love me

Me
Me
Me…

EGO=Enlightenment Gone Obsessive

So I am enlightened
Or so I wish to believe

And let everyone know
Who sees me

Recognize me
For who I have become

Admire me
For what I have to say

Accept me
For the peaceful loving and blissed soul I am

Me
Me
Me…

If everyone was blind
Who would I try to impress?

EGO=Everyone Grasping for Oneness

So what if I was enlightened
So what?

So what if I went to Nirvana
So what?

So what if I met God on Buddingevej
So what?

Me
Me
Me…

If everyone was blind
Who would I try to impress?

EGO=Everything Gone Over the top

Could I let go of me
And expect nothing in return?

Could I be in service so small (to the ego)
That no one would even recognize the service?

Could I try to impress no one
Even if everyone was blind?

December 20, 2015

I used to swim in the shallow end of the pool

I used to swim in the shallow end of the pool

We didn’t see

I didn’t know

But to control

Getting my way

Or the high way

 

From behind

Life snuck up on me

Swaddling me

In chains of oppression

Oh so subtle!

I used to swim in the shallow end of the pool

 

Going on repeat

Who is right?

Who is wrong?

Who cares?

But we did

I used to swim in the shallow end of the pool

 

You were supposed to be the light when darkness takes me

The good when evil breaks me

The love that won’t forsake me

 

Ha! Ego laughs us in the face

Flashing its grim grin

Like the shark showing off teeth

Hiding our silver lining

Turning undesirable patterns into sticky energy

I used to swim in the shallow end of the pool

 

So sad

We didn’t see

I didn’t know

But to control

Where did you go little Darling?

I used to swim in the shallow end of the pool

 

Afraid to try

Afraid to fail

Afraid to drown

Until one day,

I realized

I had already drowned

 

So I began to swim

Into the depths of Oceans’ wisdom

I did not look back

Instead, I found the courage to stand up tall

Not afraid to try

Not afraid to fail

 

And here I found

No control

No getting my way

No right or wrong

No oppression

No disrespect

No sharks…

 

Now I swim

To the rhythm in my eyes

One foot on Earth

One in the land of Rainbows

My soul shining as the stars

I used to swim in the shallow end of the pool

 

Now I dance

With the wisdom of the depths of Oceans

Now I light the sparkle in your eyes

Now I set your soul on fire

And you wish to follow

But Darling, you must know

 

It takes the courage of an Open Heart

To plunge into the depths of Oceans’ wisdom

You will find yourself standing naked

With your heart on your sleeve

It is nothing

Like swimming in the shallow end of the pool

 

Slipping into my bikini

Waves of conquering my fears coming in

Grabbing my surfboard

Heading for the deep sea of blue

 

Wanna come?

 

 

 

 

 

 

December 16, 2015

We’re all Hearts

In a land

far far away

where the grass

is greener

and the sky

is bluer

we are all

Hearts

How do I know this?

You may wonder?

I know it

because

sometimes

I wake up at night

and when I close my eyes

I am there

the hard part is

bringing it back with me

all that I have forgot

I remembered

and still don’t remember

but know I know

deep in my

Heart

So I try

to remember

by writing

these little

bits and pieces

never giving up

always searching

expecting to

one day

wake up

completely

and let the world know

what it is that we forgot

we remembered

until then…

 

December 12, 2015

Emancipate yourself

Standing in the shower
Water falling on her back
Like rain on a tin roof

Every drop of water
Slashes through her skin
Like a sharp knife

Laying bare the pain, the shame, the fear, the greed, the loneliness, the…
Of every child she ever was, of every girl she ever was, of every woman she ever was
Now and then

All the time trying to be a good girl
Fighting the ‘bad’
Hide away all that is not ‘good’

As she lay on the floor
In the shower
Water beating down on the surface of her back

Every drop of water
Is a revelation
Skeletons falling out of the closet

She realizes
Hide and seek is over
She has arrived

She is all – there is no good, there is no bad, there is just all
She breathes and
Emancipates herself

December 7, 2015

Bringing home the magic

There she was.
Balancing on the edge of the Universe
Drinking the morning dew of rainbows
Riding the backs of unicorns

Pulling down stars
With her tiny hands
Blow kissing them away
As little treats of candy

A magic child
Living innocently and free

Heart wide open

There she was.
Roaring like a lion in a cage
Raging like oceans fighting rock formations

Twisted bowels
Wrinkling up her whole face
Every inch, every cell, every fiber of her inside
Crying, aching, longing
Silently

Is this it?
What happened to that little girl with magic in her hands?

There she was.
One random morning
Abruptly shaken
Bowels falling into place
Face loosening up

Shields and armor
Falling to the ground

Naked to mine fears

Courageously rising to
Touch the stars once again
Drink of the fountains of love
Breathe the heart of the Universe

Still crying,
Still aching,
Still longing

But heart wide open

Living innocently and free
Bringing back the magic

Once again
Always
Forever